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amiaphrodite @ 2007-02-28T21:35:00

2007-02-28T21:38:04Z

you shouldn't smoke weed while waiting for dinner to cook.
I just ate a 100g bar of green and blacks and I'm not feeling well.

amiaphrodite @ 2007-02-12T16:59:00

2007-02-12T17:01:28Z

I can't stop laughing. This may make me a very harsh unforgiving bitch but this is the funniest news I've heard all year.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-11-28T13:26:00

2006-11-28T13:26:01Z

Ebay is scarily addictive and amazon has a 1 click button to buy something. Dangerous!

amiaphrodite @ 2006-11-01T15:40:00

2006-11-01T15:40:31Z

We just looked at slash fiction in a lecture.
Cultural studies rocks!

amiaphrodite @ 2006-10-29T01:05:00

2006-10-29T01:09:21Z

Beautiful beautiful people.
All of you.
Not pilled, just had a few gorgeous ales and some sheesha and Gez is finally in Brighton with me. I feel all loved up and happy and wanted to share it.
Love you all :-)

amiaphrodite @ 2006-10-17T18:17:00

2006-10-17T18:41:43Z

First post sine I've come to uni.

It's really really cool here.
I've met three vegans called Mango, Cherry and Olive.
Should I change my name to a delicious foodstuff too?

I've been at the front of an animal rights protest that went through the centre of Brighton and we marched down the main roads which the police cleared for us. I've been to a noise demo where we stood in front of the bomb factory in Brighton and banged things. I got too into it with my spoon and pan and was told that it couldn't have a beat as it was supposed to be distracting :-s I'm not convinced that making noise outside of a factory is going to do much good but it's a cool way of meeting wacked out hippies. I've been drunk and down to Brighton shore where all the lads tried to push us girls into the sea. I've smoked my sheesha with people- some who'd never tried it before and got very excited. Plans to do the same for my birthday. I've joined the lgbt society, environmental society, sheehsa society, lifedrawing, studentsagainstedo (the bomb factory). I'm also planning on joining the drama soc and the film appreciation soc. I just can't limit myself. I'm sure sometime soon my laziness will shine through and stop me from enjoying these opportunities.

As for my course, I've met loads of cool philosophers and lots of pretentious nobs but the course is really cool. Though, as ever I can't make my mind up and I'm thinking of changing from Philosophy and Cultural studies to History and Anthropology.

East Slope, otherwise known as the ghetto, is totally the best place to live.Some of the other students look down on us and others envy us. As they sit in their perfect en suite rooms they wish they'd opted for a social life instead. Hehe!

Anyway, I wanted to feel able to start randomly posting again but I thought a little update would be a good start.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-09-19T01:36:00

2006-09-19T01:03:13Z

So Gez has got a real job and is living in a gorgeous apartment and I'm about to go to university at the other end of the country. Things are changing and it's really scary but kind of exciting too.

I've spent all day packing and I'm still not done. I was thinking about how the things I own are like an extension of me, like anyone's belongings are. The point is, we buy the things we buy to fit into the lives we see ourselves living and to have the images we want and so people see us and the things we wear and possessions we have and it's all one. Like without it all we would feel like part of our personality had also been taken away and we wouldn't have things to reflect how we want to be seen so we'd have to work harder to seem the same. Like we buy an image rather than earn it . I've been thinking about it mainly because I'm self-conscious and I'm thinking too much about what I want to wear when I start uni and how I want to be seen. Also my summer could have been better and the best bit of it was shopping. Which is really not me. Being materialistic feels so empty and pointless and like Gez pointed out to me, it'll never stop because you will never have everything that you want. There will always be something new and better. I think I've spent more money than I should have and lost track a little.

I forgot to send the tenancy agreement back to uni so my room may have been reallocated according to the letter with it. Eeeek! I have to call them first thing tomorow and try to sort it out. Searching for somewhere to live would be such a shit way to start uni, specially after I was so excited about getting my first choice of halls.

Wish me luck for uni!

amiaphrodite @ 2006-08-01T19:05:00

2006-08-01T22:14:06Z

Hehehe!
I thought I'd be quite open-minded and do a quiz to determine which meat I am and without fixing it -I swear- this is what happened;

You Are Tofu

Okay, so you aren't exactly meat. And that's fine with you. Even if people think you're a bit bland.
There's a good chance you're veg - and even if you aren't, you secretly think meat is gross.

What Kind of Meat Are You?

amiaphrodite @ 2006-07-12T22:44:00

2006-07-12T21:47:01Z

This sucks.
I am at gez's with her, Saba, Lee, Kayleigh and Martyn.
They are going to Glade festival tomorrow.
I am not.
Predictably they are smoking weed and getting excited.
I should not be here.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-07-04T15:42:00

2006-07-04T14:44:27Z

Gez and I are going for a picnic and to feed the ducks :-)
Dum de dum de dum
Wine and salad and lemonade and crisps and bread
Dum de dum de dum

It's so nice having nothing to do,
I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-06-11T20:41:00

2006-06-11T19:51:05Z

I've just been stuck in a lift for 45 minutes. I knew it would happen at some point while I lived here, but on a day as hot as this! The mirror was totally steamed up by the time we left. Strangely the 2 guys I was trapped with had water, a fan, toilet paper, a plate, orangina and sandwiches with them. We noted how useful this could all become. They wrote help in the steamed up mirror and we eventually got rescued by firemen. We were just below the third floor level so I had a fireman on each of my arms as I climbed out, hoisting my skirt up in as lady like a manner as I could manage. I think I did pretty well with that and keeping calm.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-30T17:26:00

2006-05-30T16:31:13Z

I'm watching Misery and fucking hell this film is scary. I probably shouldn't be watching it alone, I'm freaked out even though nothing has really happened yet. Anyone else seen it?

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-29T18:08:00

2006-05-29T17:12:22Z

I used to really love that I could hear the city outside my window. I can hear the train announcements to Liverpool Lime Street every half hour and currently the loud music of the Eurocultured street Festival just round the corner from me. It feels like a curse, I'm stuck inside revising and poor and I just want to go out somewhere. The festival sounds are really bothering me.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-29T13:24:00

2006-05-29T12:43:51Z

It is fucking pissing it down and I ache all over because I've been exercising :-)

It has now been at least 10 days since Vicky left a frying pan with an old sausage sitting on the counter in the kitchen. We can't be exact about the dates as Al and I didn't expect Queen Victoria, Miss pristine clean, Miss "I can't handle the mess you two make in the kitchen, I have a 1,000 word essay to write and it's all too much for me!" to ever leave dirty dishes or old food out in the kitchen. Well actually, she does tend to admit while yelling at us, "I know half the mess is mine but I just can't put up with the dirty dishes". So in retrospect maybe we should have started a bet or something. Anyway, we have now dressed and named the sausage, that is starting to look like shriveled up bacon (apparently). He is called Porkpie and he has a broccoli head and penis, lollipop arms, hemp pasta legs and a bottle of mini champagne. I have taken a picture if anyone cares.

Al and I have decided that if asked, she will probably deny the sausage is even hers but she can't get away with it this time as;
1, We remember her cooking said sausage, burning herself and then whacking Al as if he'd had something to do with it.
2, No-one else in the flat eats sausages.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-23T10:29:00

2006-05-23T09:37:57Z

*sulk*
I've found 2 spider webs in my room.
I'm petrified. It's like this primitive, instinctual fear.
There could be lots of spiders.
I can't even bear to touch the webs.
I feel like I'm back at Leeds festival. Last year Katie, Nicki and I screamed a bit and stayed away while Gez marched into the tents with hairspray.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-23T01:59:00

2006-05-23T01:05:02Z

ATTENTION!
Save Nazanin from execution!

This is so disturbing and horrible,
http://save.nazanin.googlepages.com/home
Please please sign the petition in the middle of the web-page, it's under the title 'what you can do.'
Please.

And then comment on this post telling me you've signed it so I can single out anyone who hasn't got a soul!

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-19T13:17:00

2006-05-19T12:23:06Z

Hehehe, here is episode two of the female body. I think it was written by the same person as the clitoris one but this is infinitely better. Seriously, I thought I knew a lot about sex and the female body but clearly I'm an amateur. Check this out, http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-19T00:35:00

2006-05-18T23:58:48Z

I love Manchester and will miss it but I've been looking forward to going back to West Kirby and getting to spend more time in Liverpool. For lots of good reasons I feel like everything should be fine. But I'm a worrier. I never accept that things might be ok. So, now I'm thinking of why I won't cope in West Kirby. I'm not sure if these are unreasonable worries;

There is no 24hr shop.
There are no 24hr buses which is made worse by the fact that nothing good is within walking distance of West Kirby and the taxis stop around 1!!!
Takeaways shut at 11.
The pubs shut early and play shit music OR no music at all.
There is serious lack of variety
Dad confines me to my room after 11 because if I'm in the lounge the TV will keep him awake.
Basically the world stops at 11.

Ok, I have to admit there are some good things,

The beach in summer is a very cool place to get stoned and/or drink beer.
West Kirby becomes a tourist attraction making you feel very cool to live there.
I'll get to see lots of old friends.

Ok, so maybe I'm worrying for nothing. I might feel a bit like a proper teenager again, blending in with the crowds of those in between years at school. Yet, even though I know it might be good, I get the feeling my body is going to have to drag my mind screaming and kicking back to West Kirby because I can never just go with the flow.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-18T00:58:00

2006-05-18T00:08:07Z

Oh my god.
This is so brilliant.
If anyone reading this entry owns Bitch by Elizabeth Wurtzel, read pages 27 and 28 and know me better.
And if you don't own it, buy it, it's incredible.
This is exactly how I feel and why I have some resentment towards men and however nice they are and however close I feel to them as friends there is always this dividing line. For every girl I've spoken to who thinks the things I say are unfounded and who puts my resentment down to bad experiences, this is it.
I've always thought Elizabeth Wurtzel was brilliant but this is on another level.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-17T23:13:00

2006-05-17T22:34:34Z

Feeling sad and down? Let Mr happy man clear your frown!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/happyman.html

Am feeling quite good at the moment. I've been experimenting with different foods and I've decided I would be an excellent vegan chef. Hehe.

Also, I really want to go out wearing heels sometime soon so if anyone has anywhere cheap and fun to go then let me know. I realised that by entering West Kirby sixth form 3 years ago, I lost 4 inches and never regained them. I used to strut around sluttily with a short skirt and heels and then I wore jeans and trainers in the sixth form and everyone was shocked by how short I was. I love my height but I'd like to practice wearing heels again so I can really dress up when I want to. The closest I've come to dressing up in heels in years is the doc martins I wore with a little skirt for my 19th last year!

Is anyone else loving the rain?

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-12T01:28:00

2006-05-12T00:40:11Z

Wanker.
Doesn't want me home.
Well not my home since he's made it clear it's his flat.
So, I can spend the summer with my dad knowing I'm very unwelcome or at mum's very far from West Kirby or get a room somewhere in Liverpool for the Summer. None sound too appealing. I just want to go back to Liverpool without worrying about mum getting stressed about paying my rent and me getting a job but if I go to dad's it could be really shit. I really thought since our relationship was far better since I left that he trusted me more and would have no problem with me staying. I started to think dad's could be a permanent place to go back to from uni.
Maybe I'm over reacting but from his reaction when I said I might be back for the Summer...
Sometimes I think my parents act more like children than me.

I know this might sound super-emo but well, yeh, everyone has these moments.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-10T12:00:00

2006-05-10T11:12:58Z

Reasons why I should never drink:

1, I think I'm being reasonable when I argue
2, I think the things I say aren't stupid
3, I text people I probably shouldn't
4, I yell at Gez and then wake up without her
5, I also wake up with horrible hangover
6, And a messy room
7, I miss college if it's a weekday
8, I have very cringe-worthy flash backs to the night before

I apologise to anyone who suffered my stupidity last night.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-07T23:17:00

2006-05-07T22:27:36Z

Sometimes you have to do something stupid to realize what you really want.
Sometimes this results in the possibility of getting what you really want dissappearing.
Sometimes you feel like an idiot and need support from those close to you.
Sometimes you don't get it and are left standing alone feeling stupid.
Always, this does more than suck.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-04T21:42:00

2006-05-04T21:17:04Z

I may still have a few months left in Manchester but it feels like my year here is already over. Everyone at uni is having their end of year exams or finishing their projects and in college we're handing in our coursework and preparing for exams.

I may have had some bad times here but I've had more freedom and independence and felt happier here than I have in the past two years put together. I don't know how to plan where I'm spending the Summer or do my coursework or how to carry on going out and meeting people and enjoying myself here knowing I'll have to leave soon.

Also I have two hours left to pick where I'm going to uni. I'm undoubtedly going to pick Liverpool as it's the safer option when I'm crazy-unsure but it really scares me.

Also I'm wondering why I can't just get on with life like everyone else seems to. I always dwell and analyze until my head hurts and I'm always so nostalgic. I'm nostalgic about Manchester and I haven't fucking left yet.

Also I've realized all I tend to do in my live journal is complain which is shit really.

amiaphrodite @ 2006-05-01T16:43:00

2006-05-01T15:52:17Z

Aaaaargh! I've started to change my mind about universities. I just can't decide. I'm scared staying close to Manchester but not being here will be depressing and Sussex being a campus uni might give me the community atmosphere I need. And I'm starting to think I'd rather do Cultural Studies than English. But then the philosophy course at Liverpool is far better for me because it's more politics and ethics focused. I could really do with talking to someone about it for a few hours so if anyone wants to help me out that'd be great. I have 2 days left to decide!